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Consolidating responsibilities

March 10, 2019
AUTHOR: Emilie
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How many domains do you own? I recognize that to some subset of the population this feels like a ridiculous thing, but to another population it seems like a totally reasonable thing. I started off this year with nearly 20 domains, and it was too much.

The .dev domains came out last week. I tried really hard to get but I watched myself lose it. 🤦‍♀️ I did get and These felt like responsible things to do, though I’m not totally sure I can articulate the case for why.

That, of course, sent me into a crisis about what I was going to do with these domains. In the same way that I don’t like clutter in my physical life, collecting domains for no purpose feels like developing digital clutter. I don’t like “stuff.” Things are fine if they have purposes, but if it isn’t getting used, out the door! Purging is easier if you’re constantly doing it. Every weekend something is leaving the house.

In an effort to Say No more this year, I spent some time looking at and through all the domains I own. I already canceled a few (four, I think), but even that left me wondering what I was going to do with all the ones I still have. I talked it over with my Mastermind a couple of weeks ago, but have continued to think about what was going to be the best course of action.

Managing identity on the web is a weird, new thing. The pressure to “be a brand” is as weird as weird can be. I don’t have the energy to “be” anything. That feels like performing. There’s enough of that going on, and I’m over the idea of performing. I’d much rather do.

I decided that there three things I do and want to keep doing on the internet:

  • I want to keep writing here about whatever I want. I love this space and have come to terms with writing just for me.
  • I want to write about data and work and technical things in a space other than this.
  • I want to occasionally write about my needlework, which I don’t do often enough.

Coming to this decision has made it easier to decide about what’s left. For example, I let go of all my rugby-related domains for my someday, maybe projects. (I haven’t refereed rugby in over a year at this point. As disappointing as that may be, embracing it is freeing.)

If I have all these three places, there’s still not one thing to point people to.



After owning this domain for longer than I care to admit, I finally figured out its purpose. It is my one central hub on the internet. Want to know about Emilie? Just go here, and from there you can pick your own journey.

The special word in the slider in the middle rotates, and I thought that was the perfect detail. It captures the fact that I do a lot of things and have always felt weird about how to complete the sentence “I am a _________.”

This site doesn’t have a blog, doesn’t have any pages, and doesn’t link to social media. I added a recurring task to update the “Now” section every three months to my ToDoist. The links in the navbar point you to their respective sites. (She Does Data doesn’t exist yet, but one step at a time.)

I pointed all my domains (some of my other precious gems include to there. The decisions are now made. I don’t have to figure out what to do with it. And that has alleviated some portion of that clutter because now things have purposes. I’ve given them purposes, which means I don’t have to think about what to do with them any more, I don’t have to be responsible for them anymore; they’re done.

I also let go of two email accounts this week. The FOMO was huge- and then it was done. I think deactivating my Facebook and Instagram accounts was definitely a step towards this. It taught me that we can let go of digital things. (I promise you’ll get over the FOMO.)

It’s taken me a bit to realize that the alleviation feeling is coming from a consolidation of responsibilities- in two ways. 1. I no longer have to make a decision about all these things and 2. I no longer have a responsibility to all these different things. I only have the one.

I can’t do it all, but I can decide what I’m going to make time for.


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