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Ten Things that Should be Banned

March 28, 2016
AUTHOR: Emilie
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I have strong opinions.

Are you shocked? Yes, I know you are. Not. At all.

When I get angry or frustrated with things, I will often tweet about them OFTEN IN A CAPS LOCK. Not even lying!

So I’ve made for you a special list of things that should be banned* from society

*As a serious Republican, I want to say I use the term “banned” loosely. Not advocating for government micromanagement here.

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People who walk slowly.

I really don’t like transporting myself. Does that sounds weird? I find transportation to be wildly inefficient as a system. I don’t like wasting money, but I hate wasting time. In case you haven’t noticed, I’m aggressively type-A. You can always earn more money but you can never earn more time. This is why I have extremely low tolerance for long-drives. I settle for listening to podcasts or audiobooks while walking or driving, but I have no tolerance for people who walk slowly.

People who don’t answer emails.

I took the time to send you an email. Please, please, please reply back. It’s not respectful of me as a person or of my time, frankly. *For more thoughts on how I feel about my time, please see above.

Spam emails.

Ugh. Is there anyone who doesn’t hate these? I check every junk email I get- because sometimes things do end up there- but omg, so many young, hot singles in your area who are interested. But really, I’m so offer stupid scam emails? Why can’t we all just love each other and cut down on the number of emails we send?

Uncomfortable heels.

Is there anything worst about being a girl? Over it. So so so over it.

Baltimore taxis.

Don’t even get me started on how expensive these are. Once, during a rain storm, we stranded on the side of the road. All of our phones were dead, and it was pouring. We were completely soaked through, head to toe. We hailed the first taxi we saw and got in. The uber ride had cost $16 on the way there, but the taxi was $88.

People who pee on the toilet seat.

Gross! It’s really not that hard.

Sexism. Racism. Homophobia.

Also, gross. Also, not that hard to be a good person.


I hate cold. I always have. Now that I spend so much time walking every single day, I have grown a new dictate for the snow like no other. I am digging the transitioning weather. Spring cannot come soon enough!

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